Closed Doors

The email came quicker than I expected and shattered the path we planned. After work yesterday, I stayed in bed and slept off sadness from 4pm to 10pm. Around 7, I rolled over to see our two-year-old smiling at me then he fell asleep nose-nuzzled in my hair and toes pressed against my back. Kevin […]

Splash of Color

I’m not going to lie – I’ve been looking for the correct picture for this post for over a half-hour, but nothing came close. I’ve also been putting Shiloh back to sleep several times for the last three hours (noisy neighbors, wet pull-up, wet pjs, sweaty, etc.). Very soon, there will be a slew of […]

Ode to the Working Momma

I see you throwing loads of piled laundry into the washer – a hopeless endeavor half asleep at two seconds to midnight – the only time you have to do anything dust collects on face creams made to recede wrinkles of exhaustion dishes have piled high but your hands are as overworked as your mind and instead – […]

Circus Monkeys

Somedays, I feel like the ringmaster standing center stage and directing all the monkeys and tigers with a scarlet baton.  I wave the directions towards hoops and stages, then bow when the show is over without a hitch as the crowd cheers for an encore. Then there are days like Friday, when I am not […]

Grateful through the Grit

About this time, everyone is publishing their obligatory Christmas posts about how grateful they are for family and holiday gatherings and days off of work. This is NOT that post. This is about being “that” mom in a Target the day after Christmas. Something was off about the day. I couldn’t put my finger on […]

Thankfulness

I hate to cry, but the tears threatened to spill as I strained to keep them locked up. The table spread was polka dotted with all our favorite Thanksgiving foods with more dishes I was able to help concoct and less my mother had to shoulder. My family has a tradition of going around the […]

Calling

I love to feel busy. It’s the way I feel some purpose and how I also battle creeping depression. I have fervor for creating new hobbies and goals – novel writing, soap making, my YouTube channel – I’ll be making organic lip balm tonight. I’m constantly looking at my calendar for the next deadline: Shiloh’s […]

Alphabet Soup

All three of our noses are identical – rubbed pink by Puffs tissues. Not to be dramatic, but I’m pretty sure a third of the trash we will put out on the curb tonight for the 7:30 AM pick up will be soiled tissues. For the last few days, our little family of three has […]

Now I Can

I reached down and picked up Shiloh from his crib. We lowered it since his rolling and kicking made us nervous he would escape the wooden bars, and I was concerned that it would be difficult to pick him up and lay him down. He squealed and proudly showed his two crooked sprouting top teeth […]

Reset

Two weeks ago I sat in the dark on the floor in my son’s room with my back against his crib. My knees were curled up to my chest as the screen on my phone made figures on the ceiling. My husband’s supporting shoulder was next to mine but all I could feel was the weakness […]