Emotional Capacity

In my parents’ driveway, I sat talking excitedly to a friend I haven’t seen for months. We both love to talk so our words always climb over each other like overexcited puppies. I couldn’t even remember last time we made it out to a hangout with friends or even saw some of our closest friends […]

The feelings I Konmari-ed…then let go

With disdain, I threw the single worn gray sock with triangle shaped rubber slip-proof grooves into the black trash bag. It’s been my reaction to anything from that time. There have been countless hilarious memes produced after Marie Kondo’s Netflix show Tidying Up hit the interweb. I have cracked up by myself in the dark […]

Consuming the Darkness

It had been a while since I’d cried that hard – that honestly. This blog post has been rolling around my mind like a marble clanking on the side of a plastic cup. I sat on the bathroom floor hugging my husband two days before the initial foster care visit with my raw heart exposed […]

Circus Monkeys

Somedays, I feel like the ringmaster standing center stage and directing all the monkeys and tigers with a scarlet baton.  I wave the directions towards hoops and stages, then bow when the show is over without a hitch as the crowd cheers for an encore. Then there are days like Friday, when I am not […]

On the Other Side

I’ve walked through those doors dozens of times but there was something about today that made me all nerves and apprehension. It wasn’t a fear of rejection but teetered more toward belonging too much – as if – if I entered the doors of my own volition – that I would have to stay. After […]

Finding my Voice

My mom says I sound like I’ve swallowed two frogs, and to my students I’ve told them I was punched in the throat during an underground cage fight – I won, of course. But really, the weather change and the end of first semester for my classes took my voice. I keep attempting to communicate […]

Yoga Mats and Tears

I was nervous. Wringing my hands in the car, I was trying to convince myself it was a good idea to come here. I’ve signed up online and flaked on more events than I want to admit. I grabbed the green yoga mat with tiny raised marks from where my cats used it as a […]

Vlog #6: Rest and Resolutions

After a very restful Christmas and New Year’s, it’s time to set those forgiveness resolutions and “showing up” for those most important.

Grateful through the Grit

About this time, everyone is publishing their obligatory Christmas posts about how grateful they are for family and holiday gatherings and days off of work. This is NOT that post. This is about being “that” mom in a Target the day after Christmas. Something was off about the day. I couldn’t put my finger on […]

Thankfulness

I hate to cry, but the tears threatened to spill as I strained to keep them locked up. The table spread was polka dotted with all our favorite Thanksgiving foods with more dishes I was able to help concoct and less my mother had to shoulder. My family has a tradition of going around the […]