Collecting Guilt

With everything so hectic with the beginning of teaching, Shiloh going to daycare, and teaching three nights a week, I was burnt out. I could feel myself spinning viciously like a metal top, wobbling just enough to show instability. I toppled over last Friday, curled up in my classroom during lunch because I had no […]

Inhale. Exhale. Amen.

It’s the moment we all hope to have once in a while. I sat in the middle of a beige winter field on a canvas director’s chair. Closing my eyes and turning my face to the warmth of the sun, the January breeze wisps surrounded me.  Most of the time, I try not to let […]

Yoga Mats and Tears

I was nervous. Wringing my hands in the car, I was trying to convince myself it was a good idea to come here. I’ve signed up online and flaked on more events than I want to admit. I grabbed the green yoga mat with tiny raised marks from where my cats used it as a […]

Grateful through the Grit

About this time, everyone is publishing their obligatory Christmas posts about how grateful they are for family and holiday gatherings and days off of work. This is NOT that post. This is about being “that” mom in a Target the day after Christmas. Something was off about the day. I couldn’t put my finger on […]

It’s okay –

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve started and stopped too many blog posts in my head and deleted them with my imaginary blinking cursor. I’ve come home from teaching with the intention of creating something – soap, art, writing, anything at all – but I end up only creating a me sized impression on […]

Thankfulness

I hate to cry, but the tears threatened to spill as I strained to keep them locked up. The table spread was polka dotted with all our favorite Thanksgiving foods with more dishes I was able to help concoct and less my mother had to shoulder. My family has a tradition of going around the […]

Calling

I love to feel busy. It’s the way I feel some purpose and how I also battle creeping depression. I have fervor for creating new hobbies and goals – novel writing, soap making, my YouTube channel – I’ll be making organic lip balm tonight. I’m constantly looking at my calendar for the next deadline: Shiloh’s […]

Crossing the Finish Line

My legs were burning but behind and before me were other women’s cancer survivors. I had never been in one place with so many other like me – others with missing organs, pink scars, quick beating hearts, and warm breaths floating through the cold drizzling rain. An older woman we passed half a mile back […]