Delayed Response – Reasons

I already prepped myself just in case. I got my blood drawn for the Myriad genetic testing lab to see if my cells had a predisposition for cancer – mostly checking for BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 mutations. I chatted with the tech as she pulled out a fancy bright orange box in shrinkwrap. As […]

Consuming the Darkness

It had been a while since I’d cried that hard – that honestly. This blog post has been rolling around my mind like a marble clanking on the side of a plastic cup. I sat on the bathroom floor hugging my husband two days before the initial foster care visit with my raw heart exposed […]

Sisterhood

I grew up in a military family as the eldest of three. While others were playing with Barbies and ribbons, my brothers and I used Daddy’s camcorder, sheets, and plastic lightsabers to make our own version of Star Wars – which is highly embarrassing and the evidence is sitting dormant on a VHS somewhere. In my […]

Circus Monkeys

Somedays, I feel like the ringmaster standing center stage and directing all the monkeys and tigers with a scarlet baton.  I wave the directions towards hoops and stages, then bow when the show is over without a hitch as the crowd cheers for an encore. Then there are days like Friday, when I am not […]

Uprooting Weeds

Like many Virginians this weekend, I got home on Friday to find several yellow-eyed dandelions eyeballing me from the front lawn of our townhome. The day before I spent near an hour wearing a pair of red palmed gloves strangling those yellow weeds and pulling them out of the grass and the flower bed where crimson […]

Nine – On loss and found

As a writer and mother who can no longer have any more, it is my deep grieving responsibility to tell stories. Since the moment I saw the double lines on a pregnancy stick, I’ve encountered incredible women who have pressed on through heartbreaking circumstances. I am every, and all, and none of these women. This is a tribute to […]

How to be Brave – An Apology Letter

We all wrote in the middle of the field. The chilled breeze whipped around cotton sweatshirts, backpacks, and used composition notebooks. I tried to keep the prompts light until after lunch, and I’m still in shock I was crazy enough to take all my classes out. On the senior English writing pilgrimage, students sat among […]

Tell you everything else

A few days ago when I was checking my email, a name which is always attached to both my surgery record, diagnosis, and chemo regimen was in the inbox, Dr. Stephanie Wethington. Though I’ve had countless doctors and nurses treat me, it all began with her saving my life during surgery and separating my body […]

Cracks in Armor

I went to the Emergency Room yesterday. I started having throbbing pain under my ribs while I was at work and after all that has happened, I’m acutely aware of every feeling in my body – or in some places – the lack thereof. After arriving home and putting Shiloh down for a nap to […]

Road Most Traveled by

Our three sets of eyes opened at 4AM, and we’ve already begun our day. Kevin is finishing eating a sausage my sister-in-law left in our fridge, I’m blogging with a hot cup of coffee on my least favorite cat coaster, and Shiloh is dunking a black and red Jordan basketball in his Fisher Price hoop […]