Returning After Respite

I knew five months ago in March as I reached my 5-year cancer remission date and felt something missing. I knew seven months ago in January as people began to call me by my first time instead of my last. I knew, most of all, eight months ago in December as my body trembled when […]

Examining the Roots

I miss it, but I also miss ME. A year ago while doing yardwork, I asked Kevin to just run over the pink rose bush in the yard that was planted before we bought the house. When we moved in, I was happy to see it there and took pictures of the blooms, but after […]

Big Choices and Little Surprises

Let me just drop the big news first, from my last post in January – kind of like when you skip to the end of the book to find out if your favorite characters end up happy; WE ADOPTED A BABY GIRL! Nothing in our lives have been easy or less than dramatic. So, of […]

Aftermath

I’ve tried for over a month to think about a quippy way of beginning this post – I was thinking of a “new job, new me” – but that’s not right. It took slipping into an emotional chasm this week to figure out that I’m still the same person to my core. My core is […]

I Quit Teaching – Oh Captain! My Captain!

“Oh Captain! My Captain!” It’s the title and repeated line of Walt Whitman’s poem. It’s also a pivotal scene in many English teachers’ favorite film collection about teaching with passion and gusto. I always imagined myself as a female Mr. Keating, albeit a bi-racial small Asian version with tattoos and a gold butterfly nose ring. […]

Taking my own Advice: Psychiatrists and Stepping Back

Scooting across the road in a time machine, every minute floated in infinite space. We borrowed the 2003 Acura from Kevin’s mom while our car was in the shop. Something about the thin carpet and the nostalgic musk reminded me of a carefree time in my life. I drove down the road on my way […]

Emerging from Hibernation

When I heard it, I kept thinking that it wasn’t true and also: “THIS is the reason why I have trust issues!” Here it goes — bears do not sleep the entire time for hibernation. They don’t. According to the Alaska Dept for Fish and Game, which was the result of my immediate Google search […]

Reading about Myself

It was 2 AM, and I hit a mental wall. I’m normally a night owl, piecing together everything I need with the moths and sleeping dogs at my feet – but it wasn’t exhaustion which made my hands freeze and my eyes fixate on anything but the computer screen – it was the reflection I […]

No Evidence of Disease…Financially

There are few things in life that give me as much joy as either a fresh cup of coffee burning down my throat or calculating how much money I saved on a sale or by doing it myself. We just moved into our first home – more on that in next post – and I […]

Out of Hiatus

In the last few days, my phone has been peppered with texts and missed calls of people checking up on me. I will admit – I am really bad at texting people back. Sometimes it takes me 3-5 business days to respond or remember. Sometimes I respond in my head, and it doesn’t make it […]