Holding Up My Elbows

There’s a story in the Bible in Exodus where when Moses held up his hand to God that Israel prevailed and when he was tired and let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. It seems such a tiring task to keep your hands raised during a battle, but he did not do it alone. The Word says, “But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they (Aaron and Hur) took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun,” (Exodus 17: 12). After this, Joshua defeated Amalek.

Tomorrow, I have a small surgery to place another Mediport in my stomach to administer intraperitoneal chemotherapy as well as IV chemo. My second round of chemo, which will be a lot tougher and more aggressive, begins on Monday and I am looking at my little one swinging away in his bunny swing in our living room.

I have a battle ahead of me. On days I feel great and on days I feel terrible, I’m staring ovarian cancer in the face and holding up my hands to God for victory – but I’m not alone. Sometimes my hands and arms get tired – Sometimes I can hardly get out of bed – Sometimes I struggle with God about my situation – BUT I feel the support of prayers and hands holding up my elbows when I don’t think I can keep my hands raised. Like Aaron and Hur held up Moses’ hands to gain victory, my family and friends hold my hands to God for victory over cancer.

The support I’ve had is phenomenal; Both our mothers making sure both my newborn son and I are taken care of at home and at the hospital, the kind words I’ve had from family and friends, the visits at the hospital and home, the care packages from new co-workers I barely got to know before I got sick and from friends/past co-workers who are like family, and most importantly the fervent prayers from all my loved ones have kept my hands held high.

I do not stare down cancer alone with fervent tenacity – you are all standing alongside me saying we will not rest until this mountain – this battle is WON.

Thank you. You guys are my elbows supporting my arms and hands. We will not lose to cancer. We will be able to declare VICTORY and share this story.

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